The Origin of the Child Leash

Seems to be quite the hot topic with a lot of parents. To leash, or not to leash. Fuck’s sake, some kids I see running wild could also use a matching mussel, perhaps Hello Kitty will bring out a range for Christmas this year. One can only hope.

In all seriousness, I am not a fan of the leash. I don’t even really like to tether the dog, but have no choice as she isn’t quite as up on the English language as our 4 year old human.

After reading some rant today on Facebook about a child of a leash I got to thinking about the lighter side of child abuse. One of the posts was carrying on about some old lady pulling a kid along like it was a resentful pug unwilling to take a bath. Disgusting to say the least. Another post started raving on about how we have not needed leashes for children in the past, so why all of a sudden do we need them now.

Hold that thought….. Have you ever asked yourself the question: What is the origin of the child leash?……

If not then never mind, I did all the work for you. Turns out there is actually some kind of circa 1990 style HTML homage to the history of restraining your toddlers. From what I have determined, this whole leash business started early in the 17th century, perhaps late 16th century. (Although this website makes note of telling us they have found no evidence in the 16th century yet).

Take a look at this baby. It is a painting of a young Louis XV with a child leash on. I highly doubt the leash is of any consequence that young Louis pictured here would turn out to be
known as Louis the Beloved, but perhaps being restricted to a one meter radius around his caregiver  fostered a sense of empathy.

Hell, good enough for the French, good enough for… ummm…. Just don’t bind your child folks, it isn’t a dog.

Oh yeah, after almost a year without so much as a whisper on the blog, I am back. 🙂

Insulted by a toddler

For those of you who have read my ordeal with potty training, i am now experiencing a new kind of pain. Well not really, i did laugh about it. 🙂

The other day, our first mate was perched atop the toilet once again. Sorting out his toddler business in peace. He seems to want to be alone while going now, to which i understand, and am quite thankful.

Anyway, he calls out ‘guys, i need help’… Now, generally this means he needs to wash his hands, get off the toilet, or something to that effect. So we take turns.

‘Your turn’ she says with a big smile… Fine, i will go..

I get in there and he is looking at me funny. ‘Dad go away, i want to be alone’. Fine, whatever, just don’t call me again to say that.

‘Guys, i need help’… Muuhaha, ‘your turn baby’.. Sweet revenge.

My partner comes running out, ‘this is your one, he needs boy help’. I start thinking, fuck, i AM NOT going to hold it for him. Wonder what could be ‘up’.

Oh, that’s what’s up. The little bugger had been playing with himself, as all boys do. He looks at me a little confused. So i try to do the comforting Dad thing, ‘it’s ok, that happens some times and it is normal’.

HAH! He was not concerned at all! It was a trap!

‘Dad, my doodle is big. It is bigger than yours, go tell Mum’.

Little fucker. My manhood, insulted by a three year old. God damn.

Anyway, i obliged, went and told her. Of course it was met with hysterical laughter…..

Well, i found it funny, hope you did too. If you have anything similar to share, please comment! 🙂

Christmas is about giving

Just thought i would post this idea as a few of our friends with kids have also adopted it over the last few years.

We have a little boy, 3 years old, who gets very spoilt by everyone. Half his luck, cute little bugger!

Anyway, last year we reached a conclusion around November that we would either have to get an additional room built onto the house to accommodate for his growing collection of toys, or attempt to get rid of some.

My partner and i are always supporting charity, and doing what we can with what we have to make other people’s lives a little bit easier. It is something that we also want our young one to grow up participating in.

As such, we developed a plan to get him to understand the Christmas isn’t about a fat white guy in a red suit handing out toys, it is about family, and giving more so than receiving.

So we sat him down one afternoon and said, ‘look dude, you have alot of toys, some you dont play with anymore. Santa is going to be bringing a whole lot more this year too.’.. ‘YAY!!!’

‘We want you to grab this box and go and fill it up with toys you dont need any more. Then when Santa comes at Christmas we are going to leave the box out for him to take. Some boys and girls don’t have any toys, and Santa needs help to make sure they do.’

Without hesitation, he runs into his room and comes out with a box full. ‘Here you go guys, Santa can take these for the other boys and girls.’

I then go and drop these to a local charity on Christmas Eve.

This will be the 2nd year we have done Christmas this way, and i think it is a good way to get our little guy to understand the true spirit of Christmas. A few of our friends loved our idea and now do the same. It is a much cheap option than house renovations… 🙂

To add to this success, this year a house down the road burnt down. We went to watch, our toddler noticed some kids lived there. When we got home, he went and rounded up a bag of toys for them. (we didn’t even ask him). ‘Here you go guys, the kids in the burned house need some toys, they can have these ones.’

Makes me happy he thinks like this now. 🙂

Best

-Ray

My Dad moment for the day

This morning started how it generally does. Get up, let the dog out, have a coffee and a smoke, go back to bed, cuddle the missus, get up, second coffee and smoke, let the dog out again, feed the bird, toddler wakes up, feed him, get dressed for work.

Today, while putting my tie on in the mirror, our toddler wanders over.

“why aren’t you putting pretties on your face dad?.

“well, Im a boy, so i don’t put pretties on my face, but Mum does.”

Shit…. what have i just said to him?! I thought. Both my partner and I think it is important to teach him that it is ok for people to be different, and do things other people don’t. I realised i may have just contradicted myself in that moment.

I respond quickly. “But some boys wear pretties, you can wear them too if you like. But i don’t like to.”

“oh, ok.” And he toddles off about his business. Waving his ‘wand’ (a stick from the backyard) yelling some Harry Potter spell at the dog.

Well, thought I’d add this. I felt like it was my good dad moment for the day. 🙂