The Origin of the Child Leash

Seems to be quite the hot topic with a lot of parents. To leash, or not to leash. Fuck’s sake, some kids I see running wild could also use a matching mussel, perhaps Hello Kitty will bring out a range for Christmas this year. One can only hope.

In all seriousness, I am not a fan of the leash. I don’t even really like to tether the dog, but have no choice as she isn’t quite as up on the English language as our 4 year old human.

After reading some rant today on Facebook about a child of a leash I got to thinking about the lighter side of child abuse. One of the posts was carrying on about some old lady pulling a kid along like it was a resentful pug unwilling to take a bath. Disgusting to say the least. Another post started raving on about how we have not needed leashes for children in the past, so why all of a sudden do we need them now.

Hold that thought….. Have you ever asked yourself the question: What is the origin of the child leash?……

If not then never mind, I did all the work for you. Turns out there is actually some kind of circa 1990 style HTML homage to the history of restraining your toddlers. From what I have determined, this whole leash business started early in the 17th century, perhaps late 16th century. (Although this website makes note of telling us they have found no evidence in the 16th century yet).

Take a look at this baby. It is a painting of a young Louis XV with a child leash on. I highly doubt the leash is of any consequence that young Louis pictured here would turn out to be
known as Louis the Beloved, but perhaps being restricted to a one meter radius around his caregiver  fostered a sense of empathy.

Hell, good enough for the French, good enough for… ummm…. Just don’t bind your child folks, it isn’t a dog.

Oh yeah, after almost a year without so much as a whisper on the blog, I am back. 🙂

absent

Sorry to my readers, I have just started university again and have not had time to get anything up on the blog.

I’m not dead, stay tuned.

Second article up on aimn :)

Hi all, for those who missed my last post, I am now contributing to The Australian Independent Media Network AIMN.

Link to new article here.

Toddler Potty Inception

Thought I’d reblog post number 1 for a laugh 😂

The UnsimpleLife

For anyone that has a toddler, they will, or are about to know that shit stained, hair pulling adventure that is toilet training. My partner and myself have a now 3/1/2 year old boy, who i am very proud to say is now totally potty trained…. Good bye nappies!!! If only that were the case, i have been talked into having another one of these things, but that is a story for another time.

The Early Days

We began our journey nearly a year ago to the day. My partners love for everything pirate had driven her to purchase a pirate themed potty training book, complete with sticker chart and hat! Arrrrrr!!

Excellent, we had a theme, we had time, we had toddler interest. We had a everything set for a smooth transition from nappies to the porcelain hole of dreams. What we didn’t expect was just how long and…

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Now appearing on AIM Extra

A while ago someone who contributes to The AIM Network (Australian Independent Media Network) asked me how I’d feel about contributing.

Long story short, AIMN has created a new space called AIM Extra. Some of my parenting misadventures will now be appearing there.

There is some amazing content on AIMN so I must say I feel pretty chuffed to be a part of it.

Go check it out! 🙂

How do I get more followers on my blog?

Thought this was worth a reblog, some great advice here. Thanks.

My thoughts on a page.

Why are some blogs more successful than others? Where do they get all their followers, page views and visitors? Why do some wonderful writers have so few followers, while others with less well written blogs have  so many?

Most new bloggers will google this endlessly, (probably second only to “how can I make money from my blog?). The number one answer they will read is “write good content”.

Well listen up new bloggers. That’s not strictly true. 
Content is not what makes a successful blog, although it will make you more successful than others. No, in my opinion what makes a successful blog is the many different things a blogger does before pressing publish, and the efforts they make afterwards “off blog” to promote their post.

What do I mean?

Well firstly imagine you have written a post. Does it have a catchy title, feature photos, and begin with a…

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Personalised Picture Book for Kids

Our little guy loves books. Which is great, as so do we. We have always read to him, and these days he is more likely to pick a book rather than TV for entertainment.

For Christmas last year, the wife managed to find something pretty special. Not sure how or where she stumbled upon it, but we ended up getting him a personalised picture book called ‘The Boy Who Lost His Name‘. Good old interwebs, can find anything these days.

This book is amazing, you order it online and enter your child’s name, and a special message for the inside cover if you like. They will then print off the story about a boy or girl ‘looking’ for their name. Your child’s name. I think it is a really great idea. I will also say that i am pleased with the quality of the printing, very nice.

We also ended up buying one for a friends little girl too. She has one of those names you are unlikely to find printed on anything. I thought it was a great gift idea.

Just thought i would share our find, if you are into this kind of thing. Makes a great gift i think, and with the customised message too, something that they can hold onto for a long time. 🙂

Talking Toddlers

We often get asked questions like, ‘when did he start talking?’, ‘when did he start having conversations?’ etc. Truth is, he has been having conversations with us since he was one and half.

Some people are astonished at his pronunciation, and his already developed understanding of English. No, i don’t think my kid is a genius. Although, i don’t think he is a dummy either.

The reason he has developed rather quickly in this way is because we actually engage with him. I don’t just mean a ‘yeh ok, whatever’ kind of thing either. I find a lot of parents that seem to think children are best seen, but not heard. We did attend a play group a year or so ago, and my wife has been to a mother’s group in the past too. We found most, if not all the parents, would rather be drinking their coffee’s and talking about some boring adult G rated bullshit.

Sure, i also love my coffee, and my adult conversation. But i have been having those for years, and will have many more to come.

At these groups, and in general, i often see this situation. The kids are off doing kid things, and when they approach the ‘adult table’, they are met with one word answers, or a frustrated parent getting out of their seat to get a drink or something to eat for the child.

I am no saint, i am also guilty of this at times.

However, we have taught our little boy to come over to us, if someone is talking, he places his hand on the shoulder or arm of the person he wishes to address, and waits for the speaking to stop.

He will then announce his intent. He is met will full eye contact, and total focus, like any other human would expect when they are speaking to someone.

He is also met with a meaningful conversation in return. If he does not understand something, it is explained.

The adults can wait. Adults are used to waiting. 🙂

My point is, you get out what you put in to your kid. We devote time both together, and one on one with him to play, actually play. Engage with him, draw, paint, read, or just, talk.

It is hard at times, and i would rather be doing something else sometimes too. But, you indeed see the results for your efforts in time.

Right now, our little guy is 3 and half. He has just been signed up for pre-school this year. We took him in the other day. The teachers went over what would be learnt. Numbers, alphabet, colours etc. To which he already knows well. He has even began writing.

I am proud to say he can write his name, my name, mum, and dad.

He can also write a few other beauty’s:

Poo
Bitch
Fart
Butt

Hehe…. got to have a little fun right?

I may be winging it through fatherhood most, if not all the time. But i do know, treat your toddler like any other human. Not just a 2ft tall nuisance, even though, he or she might be exactly that. 🙂

Fight Club – What I have learnt without having a full blown personality complex

Something has changed in me. I am still unsure what it is exactly, or to what ends it will take me. One thing is for sure, life isn’t the same anymore.

For those that have read my post about some sad events in my life, i guess this is all to be expected. I am a Business Analyst by trade. Or at least, i was… Now i am simply showing up to work pretending to be one.

I have had enough. I really don’t care anymore. I think my current mood is akin to that of the protagonist in Fight Club. See, i seemingly had it all, a well paying job, a happy family, enough freedom to do as i pleased, within reason.

Then all that happened. I took six months off from work and the world. I drank a lot, i smoked a lot. You know what, i also LIVED a lot. If you put aside the alcohol abuse, i had a really great time spending time with my loved ones and getting more engaged with my life, and theirs, ours even.

Then i started a new job, my current one. Once again, i am a BA. But i am no longer the young, motivated, innovative person i once was. I have lost my passion for it. It isn’t like i am not capable, i just don’t care. I see no value in what i am doing, it gives me no satisfaction to be working again.

Don’t get me wrong, i am not about to stage a claim for a disability pension by any means. I intend to work.

I had an interview over my lunch break. At a supermarket of all things. Doing their invoices and crap, mind numbing data entry. You know what, i would rather do that. The interviewers were almost scared of me. After i explained to them that i have not worked with such a bunch of snobby, rich wankers in my life, they laughed. I explained i was fully aware i’d be taking a huge pay cut, but i am happy with that.

It means no late night phone calls, no trips away, no wearing a fucking tie to work.

I crunched some numbers recently, and realised that i don’t need this job. I don’t need to sit in an office making money for my boss so she can pay off her second tennis court.

Fuck it. I’m out. My life is more important to me than tangible assets and money. I was once a dread locked hippy with nothing more than a backpack. What the fuck am i doing wearing a tie?!?!?!

Yes, i’m ranting. I apologise. But really, i ask myself now, what is more important.

I have my answer. What is yours?

Time Relativity – Toddler Style

Einstein theorised that time is relative. Over my time off work i got curious about his perception of time, and how he is ‘measuring’ it. We have yet to start teaching him to read a clock, or to understand ‘what’ time is. But he has certainly developed a sense of time. This is more through a mix of his odd word associations, our daily routine, and of course, his loathing of the dreaded bed time. Or, ‘sleepy time’. Note, sleepy time will be getting it’s own post…. 🙂

I started thinking about how and why he associates different time measurements on words he recognises. Why a minute could be an hour, and why soon could be a year. Much to the disdain of my partner, i do love to stir him up by using certain words… Highly amusing i think.

So i had some time, and thought i would delve a little deeper into a toddlers perception of time. As suspected, we are not the only ones that come across this funny behaviour. Anyway, i thought i would share some toddler time relativity with you.

1. Soon
‘NOT SOON!!!!’ is generally the response. Funny, i thought soon meant, umm, soon? I started thinking, why does he dislike soon so much. Well, it makes sense i think. Generally, when one of us say ‘soon’, it is either because getting out of bed at 4am to play cars is not going to happen. So, to the toddler brain, he is associating ‘soon’ with a long time, hours, perhaps a day. Who knows.

2. In a little bit
‘Ok, in a little bit.’ Somehow, a little bit, is totally different to soon. I can say soon, get him to stir up, then say in a little bit, which makes things ok again. I am still pondering this one i must say. I think that perhaps the word ‘little’ is something he recognises as being small. With some quick toddler time calculations, this must mean a short period of time. I think…?

I intend to begin teaching him the clock over the next month or so. Not too sure where to start, i am thinking we will start with bed time, lunch time and 6/12 o’clock. If you have gone through this process, I’d love to hear your ideas, please leave a comment. 🙂

These are just a couple, how does your toddler identify time?